I let my hands be heavy on my chest. And I allowed my chest to expand up into the little warm weight of them. I dove inside my body — The pain that was actually there.

AND THIS IS THE TURNING POINT. This is the moment that needs to be slowed down. Because it is tender, and in real life, it happens fast, if it happens at all. It’s vulnerable, so we often rigidify against it.

—The pain that was there, underneath the cloak of irritation. It turns out, if I allowed myself to stay open, keep my heart loving and my body mellow, that I felt sad. I felt small. And I felt very alone. These were not thoughts, and my rational brain would have objected to it with several coherent points. These were emotions felt in the body. And to me, it feel like energy currents flowing through, moving, like rapids.

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